Not to speak too crudely, but I think it’s telling that the first words spoken on screen in 1994’s The Sum Of Us are “stick your frigging shoulder in his arse!” The film is, for want of a shall we say gentler phrase, a right kick in the backside. By which I mean, it’s devastating. Focusing on the close relationship between a widowed father and his gay son, both of whom are searching for – and maybe finding – “the one”, The Sum Of Us is about the people in our lives that make us who we are, what it means to love someone, and how we can learn to face the world again when it seems everything we ever knew has been ripped right out from under us.
I recognise it sounds dramatic to attribute all this to one film, especially a film that, from my research, seems to have made little impact in Australian cinema. And maybe I am a little biassed – The Sum Of Us is second only to The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of The Desert in my most-watched films, and it still boasts the achievement of being the only film I’ve ever watched more than once in a single day. But I think it could also be argued that the only reason The Sum Of Us hasn’t achieved the recognition it deserves (and that it deserves recognition shouldn’t, I think, be up for debate – watch it and you’ll understand) is because one of the main characters is gay. Certainly, this is the reason my family refused to watch it when I told them I wanted to introduce them to the movie that, in the final weeks of February 2024, meant more to me than probably anything else in my life at that time.
And maybe for some, this is a valid objection – it’s not my place to judge that. What I will say, though, is that if that’s the case, you’re missing out. The Sum Of Us is a good film. It’s worth watching even just to feel something. As someone who has in all my 19 years never truly cried in a film, The Sum Of Us brings me about as close to it as anything ever has. But it also makes me laugh, so much, and I would say it’s almost impossible to come away from it without feeling at least a little bit happier than you were when you started watching the film.
Which brings me back to my earlier statement, about the emotional gut-punch the film delivers. Without spoiling anything, there’s a tragedy that strikes about two-thirds of the way through the film that transforms the lives of the film’s characters. In a way, I’d say it transformed my own life as well, because it’s a rare kind of devastation that I feel (even now, ten views in) seeing characters whose company I so love being in as deeply shaken as they are. Although the film continues to be deceptively funny, this event forces the characters to learn entirely new ways of living, and viewers to reconsider their perceptions of what the film is, and what it can teach us (a lot of things).
Its strength as an instructive piece is derived first and foremost from its relatability. In cheerful father Harry (played by the inimitable Jack Thompson) and Russell Crowe’s affable, football-loving tradie Jeff, the film offers truly authentic main characters. Both occupy their roles wholeheartedly, making the characters vivid and real, the kind of no-nonsense Aussie blokes you’d more expect to run into down at the pub than to watch a film about, really – that’s how normal the characters seem. There’s none of the glamour of Hollywood, and although the film is often accused of being overly sentimental, I’d argue that this isn’t the case; it simply cares. Its earnestness doesn’t negate the authenticity of the characters and story, which remain deeply relatable.
And it’s in this, in being so relatable, that the film is most effective. If these characters, who over the course of the film become as real to us as if they were our next door neighbours, can have their lives shattered so profoundly and quickly, isn’t the same true of us? The film forces us to confront devastating truths such as this, and in doing so it urges us – passionately, fiercely, with all it has – to make the most of our lives. To love, to experience, to do great things, just to really live above all things.
So if you’ve got the chance, I can’t recommend highly enough that you watch The Sum Of Us. It’s hilarious, moving, very well-acted and gloriously Australian; the kind of film that I, at least, never get tired of watching (it’s also based on a play, if you like that kind of thing as much as I do). The Sum Of Us is a truly special experience – interesting, easy to watch, well-crafted and all around a worthwhile film – after which, if nothing else, I promise you will never be able to listen to Crowded House’s Better Be Home Soon the same way again.
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