If recent participation rates are anything to go by – under four per cent of undergraduates voted in the 2020 WUSA election – the goings on of the student union tend to go unnoticed. Pair that with political opportunism and you can get some weird election promises that candidates hope you’ll be too disengaged to think about.
#5: Tuesday cockroach race
Student elections were a lot more relevant in the ‘90s, but that didn’t stop the odd meme ticket adding some spice. One of them was the 1993 Party Party, which promised a velcro wall in the campus bar and a “Cockroach Race on the second Tuesday of November.”
Other policy gems included removing the word ‘slut’ from the dictionary (under ‘Women’s Policy’) and eliminating student poverty “by giving all students millions of dollars.”
#4: The subtle-not-so-subtle socialist ban
The Wollongong Socialists have been a talking point on UOW Rants since the Facebook page began. Generally speaking, ranters gripe the activists are rude while pamphleting outside the library.
The sentiment wasn’t lost on the Liberal-led Yes! For WUSA ticket, which in 2018 got the most votes off a platform to ‘end harassment’ on campus. Yes! didn’t explicitly single anyone out, but between the socialists and the old guys who occasionally give out bibles on campus, it’s fair to say who the main target was. It wasn’t clear how the ticket planned to carry out the policy, but in the end that didn’t matter- they were disqualified.
#3: 3 ply toilet paper (2019 campaign)
Yes! For WUSA– sticking up for the things that matter.
#2: Let’s ban SSAF!
SSAF (Student Services and Amenities Fees) is the $150 or so you pay every session so the uni doesn’t withhold your results. It’s a million dollar fund which supports a chunk of campus activity, including clubs. So when Yes! (they ran twice) made a 2019 election post promising to “abolish the amenities fee,” it wasn’t the 2018 hit they were hoping for.
Whether it was miscommunication or poor political judgement, the broad-left Student Action wasted no time giving grief. Yes! walked back the policy, but by then the damage was done.
Also, did I mention the fee is federally mandated?
#1: SMASH GLOBES ON CAMPUS
Naturally for a ticket called Flat Earth for WUSA, one of the policies was to ban globes on campus. The quasi-meme group also vowed to bring back the bean bags in building 11, tapping into nostalgia I will never understand considering people rooted on them. The ticket managed to pick up 250 votes in the 2021 presidential heat, losing by just under 90.
Full disclaimer: I organised this ticket.